As if 2023 wasn’t enough of a horror show (wars, Jada Pinkett-Smith’s memoir and loadshedding!), along comes Halloween to scare the living daylights out of us!

Now, you know that I am the Supreme Scream Queen so I’ve been watching the scariest entertainment all year long . My hours of spooky viewing is yours to sample too if you’re ready to quiver in fright.

I’ve got your top 5 Halloween Horror Must-Watch Movies and Shows right here:

The Exorcist: Believer

A direct sequel to the 1973 classic (which celebrates its 50th anniversary this year, by the way!), Believer was denounced from beyond the grave by the original director William Friedkin, as mentioned in a recent interview by one of the late director’s friends.

Believer is focused on two young girls, Angela and Katherine, who wander off for three days and come back to their families possessed by seemingly the same demon, Pazuzu, who terrorized poor little Regan (Linda Blair) in the 70s. Ol’Zuzu seems to have a bloody score to settle with Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn) and it will take everyone, from the girls’ quarrelling  parents (including Hamilton‘s Leslie Odom Jr. ) to a couple of nosy neighbours (including The Handmaid’s Tale’s Ann Dowd who is, as per usual, fantastic!) to the requisite hot priest, played by E. J. Bonilla , who goes against the Vatican’s wishes to abstain from the exorcism, to save the suffering children and their damned souls.

This latest outing is directed by the “genius” mastermind behind the latest batch of horrible Halloween remakes, David Gordon Green, and completely ignores everything that has happened in the existing Exorcist universe. You know, not-so-small details like OG mom Chris’s death in the 2016 series and how the first movie and its source novel are actually about Father Karras’s personal battle against the demon.

As a loyal fan of the original movie, I am pissed off at the lack of consistency. As a fan of horror movies, though, this was an enjoyable Halloween month outing to the cinema. It takes ALOT to scare me into screaming at the top of my lungs (the last time was on a theme park ride!) so the fact that Believer had me nearly wetting myself 15 minutes in is proof of horrific, candy-floss style entertainment. Watch The Exorcist: Believer at a SterKinekor near you!

Totally Killer:

Amazon Prime is serving up its take on Back To The Future with a bloody twist in Totally Killer, starring Kiernan Shipka (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Julie Bowen (Modern Family) and others. Jaime goes back in time to 1987 via an old photo booth (her version of the DeLorean) to save her teen mom Pam (played by Marvel’s Cloak and Dagger actress Olivia Holt ) and her friends from the Sweet 16 Killer.

Naturally ,gruesome chaos ensues as Jamie’s presence in the past turns the order of events and the future upside down.

I really enjoyed this one because as long as you don’t think about the mechanics of time travel too hard and you love the liberal pop culture references, it’s easy horror movie night fodder. I particularly loved that Totally Killer simultaneously takes the piss out of Gen Z’s wokeness whilst making this 80s baby realize that the era I was born in was problematic, in a hilarious fashion.

Haunted Mansion:

Disney+ has released its remake of the 2003 film and its iconic Park ride, Haunted Mansion, and it is currently the platform’s number one horror film!

Featuring a star-studded cast including Rosario Dawson (currently blowing Star Wars fans’ minds in Ahsoka ), Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, Jamie Lee Curtis (the OG Final Girl!), Tiffany Haddish, Jared Leto and LaKeith Stanfield, Haunted Mansion is a fun romp for all Disney kids and adults.

Riders of the famous attraction will enjoy the many Easter eggs included in this version, including the way the ghosts shove the living out of the house, in chairs styled to look and move like the Doombuggies of the real life ride. Keep an eye and ear out for the elongating walls’ scene and quotes that include snippets of the ride’s narration.

The Fall of the House of Usher:

Netflix and Mike Flanagan have gone and done it again by giving us yet another heart-stopping, breathtaking, emotional rollercoaster of a horror show with The Fall of the House of Usher.

This eight episode scare fest sees most of Flagan’s former horror show stars return including The Haunting of Bly Manor‘s Rahul Kohli and T’Nia Miller , The Haunting of Hill House’s Carla Gugino and Katie Siegel, Midnight Mass’s Zach Gilford and The Midnight Club‘s Ruth Codd . Iconic actor Bruce Greenwood (Star Trek and The Resident) and Mary McDonnell  (Dances with the Wolves) are the heads of the Usher family, a clan so depraved and deep into the criminal world while fronting as a pharmaceutical company, that the only way for them to be brought to justice is supernaturally. Star Wars icon Mark Hamill is dreadfully delightful as the Ushers’ dodgy lawyer cum caretaker.

While this one doesn’t quite live up to Hill House (I doubt anything ever will), House of Usher is a mastermind study of human depravity through the lens of horror.

NOS4A2:

This Amazon Prime show is already 4 years old but my Gods, what a scary ride! Quite literally so as the evil soul-sucking, child kidnapping Charlie Manx (played with devilishly bad boy energy by my longtime crush Zachary Quinto) drives a 1930s Rolls Royce called The Wraith to do his dark deeds.

Our villain uses The Wraith to drive the kidnapped children to Christmasland, a fun but deadly theme park that exists within his imagination, his Inscape, all the while stealing their life force to maintain his youth and health.

Manx’s opponent is the sometimes bad but always goodhearted teen, and later mom, Victoria McQueen (Ashleigh Cummings), who takes him down with the help of her trusted Shorter Bridge, her own Inscape, and a motley crew of psychics, bumbling FBI agents, drunk dads and curvy boyfriends.

Based on the novel by Joe Hill, son of the true horror monarch himself, Stephen King, NOS4A2 will make all of your Halloween and Christmas crossover nightmares come true.

Got any ghastly recommendations of your own? Share them with us on Facebook, X and Instagram!