There’s me thinking that last week with Jorah, Lyanna and my twice dead Viserion and Night King was as bad as it was going to get and then BOOM! The Game of Thrones show producers and writers f*** me over once again with this:
I am SO heartbroken over Dany (and I) losing yet another child, and so brutally too that I can’t even think straight! How bloody dare you, Dan and DB?!
Following a sombre mass funeral for our fallen Battle of Winterfell heroes and a feast in the Great Hall which included our favourite drunk Imp teaching everyone his favourite drinking game, Dany and Jon checking each other out like teenagers at a post-football game house party ( yes, even while knowing she’s his auntie, guys – dragon incest is hot!) and this epic Tormund scene when it becomes clear that Jaime and Brienne are a thing:
Arya turns down a newly named Lord of Storm’s End, Gendry, who has been catching feelings when he shouldn’t and Sansa told The Hound that she wouldn’t be who she is today if it wasn’t for crazy hot Ramsay and paedo-wanna be Littlefinger.
Jon has been pussywhipped by Dany (which is tragic to see) while also being unable to keep a secret his “father” kept for 17 years.
Being the runner-up to the Battle of Winterfell was always going to be tough but Episode 4 hit us, and our poor Lord Tendai in the gut with Missandei’s horrific decapitation by The Mountain. SOB!
An emotional episode, for sure.
That being said, I have two MAJOR gripes with this episode..
- Jon’s cold goodbye to Ghost: how the actual f*** did we go from this:
Ghost was loyal to Jon. He protected his body after he died (and probably hosted his spirit too since in the books, Jon has the same warging ability as Bran). Ghost went rushing into the fight with the undead and came out of it beaten up. How the hell could Jon not say goodbye?
Much was made of how important the direwolves are to the Starks from the very first episode of the series. The wolves were to the Starks what the dragons are to the Targaryens. Sure, Jon is a Targ but he is also and has ALWAYS been a Stark too, through his mother. His bond with Ghost was a core part of his character.To now undo all of that, simply because they’re running out of time , is pathetic.
Ghost was a good boy and deserved better. Screw the producers for not having enough budget to at least give these two a better farewell. You know f***ing NOTHING, Jon Snow!
2. The strong women of Westeros being turned into villains or weak damsels:
Dany and Brienne are two of the strongest women in Westeros and television. That they are now being portrayed as turning into a Mad Queen and Jaime’s blubbering side piece respectively, pisses me off more than I can say!
There are countless blog posts going around, lambasting the show runners and writers for their poor writing, most notably the Washington Post and I have to say I agree. It’s like they spent two years wasting time on big fight scenes and forgot how to write for the characters we love. It’s disappointing, to say the least.
Dany’s inherited madness has been on the slow burn since Season 7 but to turn her into the Big Bad after what is an understandable reaction to losing two of her dragons, her trusted advisor and her best friend in the space of two episodes, is a bit rich.
Brienne, finally getting together with Jaime after six goddamn seasons, deserved more than this:
In a rush to tie up loose ends and storylines, the writers are doing the characters and the fans a great disservice. Shame! Shame! Shame!
My Lords and Ladies, I’d be lying if I said I had an inkling of WTF lies ahead for us in the final two episodes.
Everything has been turned on its head and yet, also not. That we are heading for a Battle of the Mad Queens is inevitable BUT who actually f***ing survives and sits on that goddamned Iron Throne is anyone’s guess.
I am praying to the Old Gods and New, the Drowned Gods and the Lord of Light that Euron, Cersei, Qyburn and The Mountain eat dirt. After what they did to my kid and Missandei, they deserve to die violent deaths!
I have two.
The first MVP award goes to … that damn wanna-be Starbucks coffee cup, chilling like a boss on the table at the feast infront of Dany:
Millions of dollars spent on production, hundreds of pairs of eyes seeing the episode before it went to air and STILL they all overlooked the damn coffee cup.
Twitter users, of course, were insanely hilarious in their roasting of this scene:
My second is Ghost and this explains it all:
Quote of the episode: