Here we are, my Lords and Ladies of the Realm, at the halfway mark of the critically acclaimed House of the Dragon debut season and Episode 5 was dragon fire lit!
Recap:
We start, as is our wont now, with dragons flying across the Narrow Sea – Syrax, Princess Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock)’s mount, racing Meleys, Princess Rhaenys (Eve Best)’s dragon to Driftmark, homestead of House Velaryon, as King Viserys (Paddy Considine) sets out to propose a marriage between Lord Corlys (Steve Toussaint)’s heir Laenor (Theo Nate) and his own.
Ol’ Viserys struggles to get his sea legs, on top of his already failing health. A quick finger check here: he has now lost most of his digits on one hand and is barely holding onto the remaining ones. So now we know that in addition to not getting any pleasure from him, Alicent (Emily Carey) is also doing ALL of the carnal work. Sigh.
Corlys, like the badass he is, pointedly doesn’t greet his King at the door and makes Viserys meet him in his own throne room at Driftmark. After some tough negotiations as to when any children born to Laenor and Rhaenyra will bear the Velaryon name (a compromise is reached that the children will bear Laenor’s last name at birth but the Targaryen name when they succeed Rhaenyra to the Iron Throne), a marriage pact is made.
Meanwhile, the newly betrothed couple take a not-so-romantic stroll along the beach where Rhaenyra strikes her own deal with her fiancΓ©: as long as they do their duty to produce an heir for both of their fathers, Laenor may take his male lovers as she will hers. Much like the deal Margaery Tyrell and Renly Baratheon will make 200 years later, this Old Valyrian match will be one of platonic love, allowing each partner to be who they are and be with whom they want. Love is love and I am loving this Middle Ages progressiveness!
As House Targaryen heads back to King’s Landing to plan the Royal Wedding of the Year, lovesick Ser Criston Cole ( Fabien Frankel) makes Rhaenyra an offer he thinks she cannot refuse: to run away to Dorne where they shall be nameless and poor,to be sure, but happy and in love. He, of course, underestimates Rhaenyra’s devotion to her future throne and she turns him down.
Weddings in Westeros are of course, a bloody and political affair. Alicent, spurred on by her father Otto (Rhys Ifans) to prepare her son Aegon to rule, weasels the truth out of Ser Criston about what happened on the fateful night Rhaenyra snuck out with Daemon (Matt Smith). It’s just not the truth she was expecting as our valiant knight admits he was the one who took the Princess’s maidenhead. Good Gods, remind me never to play poker with Criston – he folds too damn quickly.
Our young Queen, like Cersei before (or is that after?) her, uses this information to make a literal fashion statement by wearing House Hightower’s signature green colour to the Royal Wedding and thus officially begins the Dance of the Dragons.
My bad boy Prince Daemon shows up at the wedding, uninvited and fresh from “accidentally” killing his first wife, the Bronze Bitch, Rhea Royce in the Vale. He openly defies the King by flirting, dancing and nearly kissing Rhaenyra in front of all of the major houses of the Realm. Man, that guy has a set of balls on him!
Laena (Savannah Steyn), daughter of Lord Corlys and Princess Rhaenys, openly flirts with Daemon and even when he warns her off of him, she implies that she can assist him with his, uh, flagpole raising issues. Let it never be said that the women bearing dragon blood are not confident!
Laenor’s lover Joffrey (when has that name EVER been a good thing for Westeros?!) lets it slip to an already unstable Criston that as long as they ensure the royal marriage continues, they can be happily kept men on the side. It drives the knight batshit crazy and he brutally butchers Joffrey to death in the middle of the wedding feast. Welcome to the Red Wedding the prequel, Everyone!
In the aftermath, with poor Joffrey’s blood still staining the floor, Viserys weds Laenor to Rhaenyra. Alicent prevents Criston from taking his life in the Godswood and makes him her sworn knight. Battle lines have thus been drawn and we are in for it now.
Impressions:
For their last portrayal of Rhaenyra and Alicent respectively, Alcock and Carey nail their performances in this episode. Until now, Rhaenyra has come across as the spoilt, evil royal brat and Alicent as the sweet, naive pawn being played in the game of thrones.
Alicent’s fall (or rise, depending on which way you want to look at it) is kicked into high gear when the Master of Whispers Larys Clubfoot Strong whispers in her ear about Rhaenyra’s wantonness.Carey does a remarkable job of shedding Alicent’s innocence and whittling away at it until we are left with the Green Queen making a late entrance to the Royal Wedding. She is every inch the Wicked Stepmother and I can tell Rhaenyra will not have an easy time with her in the decade to follow.
And what of our fallen white knight? Oh, Ser Criston. If only you had as much grace as Daario Naharis, the Tyroshi sellsword lover of Daenerys, Rhaenyra’s eight time great-granddaughter. does 200 years later. Do you all remember this scene?
Criston could have been a well-kept paramour but he refused to be Rhaenyra’s whore and on top of that, thought he could bend the Blood of the Dragon to his will. You give her your, uh, sword, for one night and expect a dragon rider to become your destitute, obedient wife and lover in gratitude? No, my boy, we women will never follow a man when we can rule in our right. The audacity of your nerve!
Daemon makes me want to sing “Bad Boy/Bad Boy/What you’re gonna do/What you’re gonna do when they come for you” every single time he gets exiled, returns, causes shit and disappears again π
This is me every week:
The way he silently murders Rhea without saying so much as a word, even when she openly mocks his erectile dysfunction (so now we know this isn’t a recent infliction and has nothing to do with how badly he wants to f*** Rhaenyra) is epic. Matt Smith deserves EVERY single award nomination coming his way in the next awards season.
Harwin Strong (Ryan Corr) takes centre stage as he lifts Rhaenyra fireman-style out of the panic-stricken crowd during Criston’s bloody rampage and this blink-and-you-miss-it moment is pivotal. It sets the stage for what will be their eventual relationship that leads to the birth of three sons who Laenor will claim as his own. I was initially disappointed that the casting directors hadn’t chosen a better looking actor but the source novel Fire&Blood describes Rhaenyra’s eldest sons as “piggish looking like their natural father” so this makes sense.
Theory:
From the next episode’s preview and clip released on social media, we know that the time jump takes us to a decade in the future where Alicent (now played by Olivia Cooke) has gone full Mad Queen and Evil Stepmother, heartlessly demanding to see Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) and her newborn son minutes after childbirth. Alicent has lorded Rhaenyra’s loss of virtue secret over her head for ten years, berates her for very obviously passing off Strong’s sons as Laenor’s and being unworthy of the Iron Throne. Alicent’s sons Aegon and Aemond have grown into royal assholes and the King’s health continues to worsen.
A lot of the plotting happens off page in the source novel so it will be interesting to see how the House of the Dragon show writers work that onto the screen. We will definitely see more dragons in this next episode because each of the Targaryen and Velaryon children, including Daemon and Laena’s (yes, they will end up marrying and she will revive his royal member to full dragon blood capabilities π ) twins, are dragon riders.
I’m looking forward to seeing how Rhaenrya starts to plan her comeback and how House Velaryon supports her pressing her claim to the Throne. That f***ing Alicent needs to be taken down a peg or three.
House of the Dragon airs on HBO Max on Sunday evenings and on DStv Express at 3am and M-Net Channel 101 at 9pm on Mondays.
