Reader’s warning: you know the drill by now – I am about to drop some epic House of the Dragon spoilers that even Larys Strong doesn’t know about, so avert your eyes if you have not watched the episode yet!
Lords and Ladies of the Realm, this week’s House of the Dragons episode FINALLY got the Dance of the Dragons started and it was lit.
Recap:
We return to Driftmark six years after the sexiest wedding in Westeros history and things are awful. The Sea Snake, Corlys Velaryon (Steve Toussaint) has been fighting to keep the peace on the Stepstones. He has been badly wounded and while he is on his way home, it is unknown if he will survive. His younger brother, the not-so-religious-that-he-doesn’t-desire-his-brother’s-throne Vaemond (Wil Johnson) is demanding that Princess Rhaenys (Eve Best) cedes the Lord of the Tides title and Driftmark to him, over her alleged grandson and Corlys’s chosen heir Lucerys (Elliot Grihault), son of Rhaenyra (Emma D’Arcy) and Laenor (John Macmillan).
Why are second sons so f***ing thirsty for what was not given to them at birth?! Rhaenys, while well aware that Luke is not her grandson by blood and still pissed at her son and daughter-in-law for getting hitched to each other so soon after her children died, refuses to disrespect Corlys’ last wish for the boy to rule after him. Vaemond then decides to take the matter to Queen Alicent (Olivia Cooke) and her father, Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans), to settle. Of course, he does, because he knows that those two snakes are as eager to cut down Rhaenyra as he is. Jackass!
Back on Dragonstone, our favourite incestous married couple have already had two beautiful baby boys, Aegon and Viserys. Yes, yes, it gets confusing because Alicent also has a son named Aegon. Taking our cue from George R.R. Martin’s source novel Fire&Blood, we will refer to Alicent’s rapist son as Aegon the Elder and Rhaenyra and Daemon’s gorgeous son as Aegon the Younger.
Daddy Daemon goes dragon egg hunting in Syrax’s latest gooey delivery and finds THREE eggs, one for each of his children with Rhaenyra and considers it a sure blessing from the Gods. His joy is short-lived, though, when he receives a message from his daughter, Lady Baela (Bethany Antonia), advising him of her Great-Uncle Vaemond’s nefarious plans. Baela has been a ward of her grandparents on Driftmark, while her younger sister Rhaena (Phoebe Campbell) has been raised by Daemon and Rhaenyra. Baela still loves her dad enough to give him a heads up of what’s coming. Let us also give Daemon kudos for not beating the messenger to death this time π
Dragonstone is a perfect picture of domesticity (as much as it can be in Westeros!) where Jace (Harry Collett) is determined to learn to speak High Valyrian fluently, Joffrey is being doted on by a nursemaid and Rhaenyra is watching her boys while lovingly stroking her growing belly. She really has evolved into such a maternal figure from the teen who didn’t want to push out babies all of her life. Daemon shares Baela’s news with his future Queen and lady wife and the two decide to go home to King’s Landing. Oh, gird your loins, my Lords and Ladies, drama is coming!
When the Blacks (as Rhaenyra’s court is now called) arrive at the Red Keep, things have changed and not for the better. It seems that the “holy” Alicent has redecorated the Keep in all of the stars and bangles she could find to show off her religious dedication. Think of her as that Christian auntie who has a cross stitched on every doily, cushion and tapestry in her house as far as the eye can see. For Daemon and Rhaenyra, who both grew up in a Keep decked out in House Targaryen finery with dragons everywhere, this is a shock to their system and an affront to their heritage.
Rhaenyra and her family make their way to see the ailing King Viserys (Paddy Considine) and are absolutely shocked by what they find: a barely breathing White Walker in the making. Just look at him:
When I saw him, I had the sudden urge to start singing
Those who have seen your face
draw back in fear.
I am the mask you wear
… from Phantom of the Opera:
While Rhaenyra introduces his namesake to her father, Alicent is running around the castle trying to keep her wayward children in check. Aegon (Tom Glynn-Carney), window mastubator of note, has grown into a f***ing worst pervert, raping his maids, ignoring his sister wife Helaena (Phia Saban) unless he is drunk and is still generally being a dick. The fact that the maesters now have to keep the medieval Plan B tea on tap speaks volumes about how depraved the wanna-be heir to the throne has become.
Fraught reunions between Alicent, Rhaenyra and Daemon as well as Aemond One Eye (Ewan Mitchell) and his nephews Luke and Jace makes Viserys determined to have a family dinner the next night ,no matter the cost.
But first, we must have the drama! After begging her father to stand up for her and her sons, Rhaenyra all but gives up hope that Viserys will be able to do so, seeing as the Hightowers are keeping him drugged up on milk of the poppy and he is literally falling apart. Oh, ye of little faith…
Not only does nearly dead Daddy Dearest rise from his deathbed to put the matter of the Driftmark succession to rest and rights, he does an epic, slow walk crawl to the Iron Throne and displays remarkable grit in the face of adversity. That is a KING!
Vaemond isn’t as impressed by Viserys’s endurance and proceeds to tell the King to keep his royal nose out of Driftmark’s business, calls Jace, Luke and Joffrey bastards AND dares to call Rhaenyra, his future Queen, a whore. Before Viserys can even dare to cut out Vaemond’s tongue with Aegon the Conqueror’s blade, my man Daemon does what he does best: he violently takes off Vaemond’s head with Dark Sister in front of EVERYONE! Classic Daemon!
In celebration, the House of the Dragon comes together for what turns out to be Viserys’s Last Supper. The dying man begs his kin to put their jealousies and pettiness aside for a House divided cannot rule as one. Rhaenyra takes the lead and raises a cup to her stepmother Alicent, who does the same and declares that she will be a good Queen. Aemond, that little shit, has to stir things things up again when he makes a toast that presses the Strong bastardry notion and things go south quickly.
The episode ends with Alicent misunderstanding Viserys’s dying words of “Aegon β¦ His dream. The Song of Ice and Fire. It is true what he saw in the North. The Prince that was Promised.To unite the realm against the cold and the dark. It is you. You are the one. You must do this.” Viserys thinks he is talking to Rhaenyra but Alicent mistakes his words to mean her rapist son Aegon and thus sets out to plan her coup and usurp Rhaenyra as Heir.
The Dance of the Dragons has commenced!
Impressions:
Let is be known now: I am in love with Daemon f***ing Targaryen and his brilliant actor Matt Smith! Men, if you aren’t prepared to quietly but firmly support your woman, stand up to her foes and slice off a man’s head in her defence, then we don’t want it (to quote Jon Snow and Lucerys Velaryon)!
Relive this scene with me:
Smith will deserve every single award coming his way in the next awards season because my Gods, the man is good! He plays Daemon as a woke feminist who loves his family, protects his wife’s honour and isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty when he needs to. The way Smith plays Daemon reminds me of my other blonde lover, Alexander Skarsgard, and his icon role as Eric Northman in True Blood. Skarsgard once famously said that it is far more terrifying to threaten your onscreen victims in a steady, quiet and calm voice than to go all Jokeresque loud and crazy on them. Show, not tell, and damn, was he right!
Considine does his best work in his last episode as Viserys. As someone who has been at the receiving end of a dying loved one asking my siblings and I to put our shit aside, that speech Viserys gives at his last supper hit hard. The real OG moment, though, is this one:
That is how you love a child, World! Considine imbues this pivotal father and daughter moment with every ounce of emotion and it is legendary. How can you not be moved to tears at witnessing a father’s love for his child, one so deep and so great, he literally rises from his death bed to show it to the Realm and her detractors?
Even Rhaenys (Best) is so moved by it, she immediately joins her cause with Rhaenyra’s and accepts the latter’s proposal to marry her granddaughters Baela and Rhaena to Jace and Luke, thereby securing both the Iron Throne and Driftmark.
As for Daemon… the love he shows his brother, by first accusing Alicent of keeping Viserys drugged up and then, by helping Viserys when he struggles to get to the Iron Throne and lovingly laying his crown on his head.Wow. Viserys missed one hell of a choice of Hand by overlooking Daemon for the position. Yes, my man is a Rogue but he is one with a heart. Also, kudos to him for consistently refusing to acknowledge Alicent’s position by standing to greet her. He also has a firm but loving grip and influence on Rhaenyra’s sons and his own daughters. My Prince!
This episode shone a light on the key differences between Alicent and Rhaenyra’s sons quite brilliantly and pointedly. While Jace and Luke are determined to learn to be good rulers and husbands – with Baela and Rhaena clearly already adoring them and sticking up for them – Aegon and Aemond are ruthless, loveless and giant spoilt assholes. Criston Cole, Alicent and their grandfather indulge their f***d up antics and are doing them no favours.
Let’s give a shout out to Jace who asked Helaena for a dance and gave us the literal Dance of the Dragons as well as a moment to warm Viserys’s dying heart:
Mitchell as Aemond definitely caught my eye in this episode. Knowing what I know about how his story goes, I am looking forward to seeing how Mitchell plays Aemond’s crazy but hot determination to be the next Rogue Prince. Daemon’s searing appraisal of his copycat nephew made me smirk too. Oh, this is going to be fun!
Can someone just get Alicent laid properly already, please?! The woman is an insufferable shrew and jealous AF because Rhaenyra got to sow her wild oats as a young woman and now she is taking it out on the entire kingdom. I felt seriously nauseated by how Alicent comforts her son’s rape victim and then turns around and shames her into staying silent about the entire thing. Yes, it is a tale as old as time – women are the ones who perpetuate the cycle of abuse by forcing victims to keep quiet – but f***, it’s horrible watching it play out onscreen.
Now, let us to get to the crux of the actual issue here: Viserys literally said that the Prince That Was Promised will be made of Ice and Fire and he shall put what comes from the dark in the North to death. He confirmed that this Prince Aegon WILL come from Rhaenyra’s line. Game of Thrones fans, you know who THAT is: Jon f***ing Snow!
I am seriously so pissed off at those idiots D&D for making Arya the one who kills the Night King. Jon is Aegon Targaryen VI, the literal embodiment of Ice and Fire through Lyanna (Ice) and Rhaegar (Fire) and the last descendant of Rhaenyra and House Targaryen. How the f*** could the show’s producers get it wrong?! I pray to all of the Gods, Old and New, that Kit Harington and Martin will put this to rights in the upcoming sequel Snow.
Theory:
If the show sticks to the broader outlines of the source novel, Rhaenyra will lose the baby she is currently carrying and Aegon will claim the crown and Iron Throne while she is in mourning. Jace and Luke will take to the skies to gather the great lords of Westeros to their mother’s cause and press her claim. Daemon will ride to Harrenhal to have a deadly showdown with Aemond. Aegon will rule for a scant two years in which he is more bedridden than anything else after getting into a brutal fight atop Sunfyre, his dragon, against Rhaenyra and Syrax. Things aren’t looking too good for Helaena either. And as for Alicent? She will be a perpetual Queen in the Tower until Ser Larys Clubfoot Strong comes to her rescue.
House of the Dragon airs on HBO Max every Sunday evening and at 3am on DStv Express and M-Net Channel 101 at 9:30pm every Monday.
