Well, shit, THIS happened…
My girl Dany took Missandei’s dying word last week to heart and took what was hers with fire and blood.
As I’ve previously mentioned, this season’s crappy writing, turning Dany into a Mad Queen makes me so f***ing mad, I’d like Dan and David to step into my office aka the Dragon Pit so I can burn them alive.
The fandom agrees with me, judging by all of these hilarious memes floating around:
In an episode that most likely is the most divisive one in the series yet, our favourite love-to-hate characters died swift and somewhat rushed deaths, starting with our mysterious Master of Whispers, Varys. While I feel that he still had somewhat of a role to play politically and I mourned his passing, he deserved to die for trying to poison Dany and overthrow her in favour of Jon.
Also, how cool was this scene of Drogon coming out of seemingly nowhere to burn Varys on the shores of Dragonstone ( reminiscent of Melisandre making that epic first sacrifice to the Lord of Light in Season 2):
After selling his best friend out to his Queen, Tyrion does the stupid thing of betraying her himself by freeing Jaime in a heartwrenching scene that had me tearing up. Peter Dinklage has been bringing the acting heat this season and he is outstanding in this final moment between the Lannister brothers.
Jon, after being so pussywhipped by Dany last week, denies his Queen and Aunt his affection this week and I cannot help but wonder that if he had just given her one last roll in the dragon glass, the rest of the horror could have been avoided.
Dany channelling her inner Mad Queen (again, I HATE this!) sets off a chain reaction of the Northern forces turning into butchers and rapists; GreyWorm going no balls to the wall in grief-laced rage; Euron losing his Iron Fleet and his life in what must be the most pathetic f***ing fight to the death with Jaime I have ever seen in my life; The Hound setting Arya back on the path of humanity because he doesn’t want her to die like him ( way to go Step Dad!) and Jon realising that Dany has gone off the deep end.
The mistreatment of my Queen and how the showrunners are suddenly retconning all of the previous seasons to fit their Mad Queen plot twist is my major gripe but I have one more:
Cersei Lannister’s unworthy death scene:
Guys, remember when Cersei was willing to poison herself and Tommen to avoid the last sacking of King’s Landing:
How can the writers honestly expect us to believe that someone as desperate to save herself and her unborn child at all costs, including using the poor people of King’s Landing as protection against Dany;someone who blew up a Sept to kill all of her previous enemies in one fell swoop and killed her husband just to be free of him, would be taken out by tumbling rocks?!
We were shortchanged of the prophecy ,seen back in Season 5, of her being killed by her “little brother” and of Tyrion fulfilling this sweet little promise:
As some 40 000 fans online petition to have HBO reshoot this last season, I fantasize about an episode in which Cersei lives, gives birth to and raises a child as sweet as Tommen but with a head for ruling, who in 20 years, when he thinks he is safe, comes face to face with the new Night King aka Bran.
Gorgeous, breathtaking cinematography and direction by The Long Night‘s
Miguel Sapochnik aside, my absolute favourite part of this episode, without a doubt, was Cleganebowl! The one thing that was promised time and time again over eight seasons and actually delivered on all of its glory:
I want to keep my expectations low for the final EVER episode of Game of Thrones because I have already been so bitterly disappointed. At the moment I have two working theories:
1: Jon kills Dany, takes the Iron Throne reluctantly and marries a Princesss of Dorne to strengthen those ties while remarrying Sansa to Tyrion and keeping the North and South tied through them. He names Arya as Lady Commander of the Kingsguard. Brienne gives birth to Jaime’s child and holds Casterly Rock until her son comes of age, after which she goes to find Tormund and gives him some giant babies ( what?! A fangirl can dream!)
2. Everything that has happened is a vision Bran is having after his fall from the tower in Season One. He wakes up, calls for Ned and tells him what is about to happen. Ned never goes to King’s Landing; he never gets beheaded and all of the shit everyone has been through, never happens. The end.
Euron Greyjoy, he of too much eyeliner and an oversized ego, come to your favourite pirate-loving fan!
His death was far too goddamn comical for my liking but I will give him props for completing his to-do list: f*** a queen and command the largest fleet the world has ever seen.
Kudos for getting in the last word too:
Quote of the episode:
“If it weren’t for you, I never would have survived my childhood. You were the only one that didn’t treat me like a monster. You were all I had.” – Tyrion to Jaime